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I’m moving on.  I can’t believe my husband’s response to the GAPS diet food list, which is very extensive.  He read the diet synopsis I had left on the kitchen table, ran up stairs and said, “Where are the crackers.” I said, “No crackers since we won’t be eating grains and other carbs.  Crackers aren’t on the GAPS list.” In a whiny voice he lamented, “But I can’t eat cheese without crackers.” Can you believe it? I was astonished and disappointed at the silliness. First of all, it is possible to eat cheese without eating crackers, and more importantly, there shouldn’t be cheese in my husband’s GAPS diet since he is severely lactose intolerant, and cheese gives him diarrhea!  This is the reason for doing GAPS in the first place.  He has NO COLON–he survived colon cancer. He has one lung–he also survived lung cancer. And, he has a lot of inflammation and is pre-diabetic, has high blood pressure and more.  He needs GAPS. He needs GAPS more than I do. But, there will be no GAPS for him.  He’s too petulant and childish and has absolutely no will power. So sad. I’m afraid I’m moving on.

Yes, I just give up. Some people aren’t willing to make the slightest effort to work on their health problems and I’m tired of it all.  This morning I gave my husband some of the “bone broth” I made yesterday.  He turned up his nose and gagged down about a half cup.  I added a couple of pounds of browned beef chunks and some garlic cloves to the pot and then baked the broth and meat in the oven for an hour and a half.  The new broth was rich and delicious and the meat tender. It smelled incredible. I offered H some of this newly improved broth and he turned up his nose again and refused to try it.  Like I said, I just give up. I’m sitting here in tears because I now realize my husband, the love of my life, is on his way out. He’s hopeless and I’m going to be alone.

I plan to continue with the GAPS diet on my own.  I have had such success with the things I’ve done recently to improve my fibro pain.  I am allergic to eggs, milk, wheat and a slew of vegetables.  I’ve given them up and see a tremendous difference.  We went to New York this week and I was able to walk without much pain, had lots of energy and realized there was a bounce in my step again. I’m not saying I wasn’t tired and didn’t hurt at all, but I was capable of walking blocks and blocks and spent hours trucking through the galleries in the MET. I haven’t been able to do this in decades.  I remember a trip to New York in 1998.  I cried because I hurt so much that I couldn’t even hobble around the museum.  I sat in a wheel chair and my husband pushed me from room to room. Even that hurt.

Well, I suppose I’ll have to give up trying to help this person I love so much. It just isn’t happening, no matter how much effort I put into cooking and cajoling him into taking supplements, etc.  It is all falling on deaf ears.

So be it. So sad.